From Survival to Thriving in the Face of Anxiety, Fear, and Control

Once upon a time, in the sunlit corners of Australia, Jodiann lived a life marked by quiet resilience. Beneath her warm smile and the daily rhythms of raising two young sons, she was waging battles within herself—battles born from anxiety, claustrophobia, and a fear of losing control. Each of these struggles held their own lessons, whispering truths she would only uncover later in her journey.

Anxiety: The Unseen Companion

Anxiety had been a familiar companion for Jodiann, often manifesting as a tightness in her chest and a quickened heartbeat. It flared up in moments of uncertainty, a shadow she couldn’t shake. At first, it felt like something external—a storm she couldn’t escape. But as she began to work with tools like deep diaphragmatic breathing, she discovered that activating her vagus nerve brought a calm she hadn’t thought possible. She learned to label her emotions, giving them names that transformed chaos into clarity. “What is this feeling trying to teach me?” she would journal, finding that even anxiety carried a message of growth.

The Confines of Claustrophobia

Her next challenge was claustrophobia. The fear of tight spaces loomed large, making elevators and crowded rooms feel like insurmountable barriers. She once found herself in an elevator, heart pounding, unable to breathe. But Jodiann turned to a technique called the “Fast Phobia Cure” from NLP, reprogramming her response to these spaces. By rolling her shoulders gently and grounding herself with affirmations, she began to reclaim her autonomy. She wrote in her journal, “What freedom am I seeking, and how can I find it within myself?”

Agoraphobia: The Wider Fear

With the arrival of her second son, Corey, another fear emerged: agoraphobia. Open spaces, bustling markets, and crowds became sources of dread. The idea of escape seemed impossible. Jodiann began working with grounding techniques—planting her feet firmly on the earth and breathing deeply. Each step outside her comfort zone became an act of courage. “How can I trust the world to hold me safe?” she would ask herself, building trust one moment at a time.

The Diagnosis That Changed Everything

And then, life threw a curveball. Pregnant with her third son, Timothy, Jodiann noticed a lump on her leg. It seemed harmless at first, but as time went on, tests revealed a grim truth: she had angiosarcoma, a rare and aggressive cancer. The world she had carefully rebuilt tilted on its axis. For a time, fear gripped her—fear of death, of leaving her children, of what the future might hold.

But even in the darkest moments, she found light. Her husband, Matt, her children, and the baby growing inside her became her reason to fight. Chemotherapy became her battleground, and as her hair fell and her strength waned, she turned inward. Guided by gratitude and hope, she used her tools—vagus nerve exercises, visualizations, and somatic movements—to manage not just the physical toll but the emotional one.

Moving from Survival to Thriving

By the time she reached remission, Jodiann had learned something profound: survival wasn’t enough. She wanted to thrive, to live fully present in each moment. Forgiveness became a cornerstone of her healing. “I forgive my body for what I once saw as betrayal,” she journaled, “and I embrace it as the vessel that carries me through life.”

She practiced self-compassion, showing herself the kindness she had always extended to others. She embraced somatic practices like yoga and Tai Chi, which reconnected her with her body. Emotional intelligence became her superpower, helping her navigate relationships with grace and understanding.

Through it all, she began to trust herself again, surrendering control over things she couldn’t change and focusing on what she could. “What is within my power today?” became her guiding question.

Tools and Practices Jodiann Used on Her Journey

Vagus Nerve Activation

   •     Breathing: Slow, deep breaths to calm her nervous system.

   •     Humming: A gentle way to stimulate relaxation.

   •     Cold Therapy: Splashing her face with cold water to reset her stress response.

NLP Techniques

   •     Swish Pattern: Replacing negative images with calming ones.

   •     Anchoring: Creating physical cues to evoke feelings of safety and empowerment.

Emotional Intelligence

   •     Identifying emotions with honesty.

   •     Practicing gratitude daily, even in small moments.

   •     Using affirmations to counteract limiting beliefs.

Somatic Movement

   •     Progressive muscle relaxation to release tension.

   •     Gentle yoga to reconnect with her body.

   •     Walking barefoot on the earth to ground her energy.

Journal Prompts Inspired by Jodiann’s Journey

      1. Anxiety: “What is my anxiety trying to teach me today?”

      2. Claustrophobia: “What small step can I take to feel more free in confined spaces?”

      3. Agoraphobia: “What part of the world do I want to explore with courage?”

      4. Cancer Journey: “What strengths did I discover in myself during challenging times?”

      5. Forgiveness: “What can I release today to feel lighter and more at peace?”

      6. Gratitude: “What three things am I thankful for in this very moment?”

Living Fully Present

Today, Jodiann stands as a beacon of hope, a reminder that even in life’s darkest chapters, light can shine through. Her journey from fear and control to trust and surrender teaches us all that healing is not just about survival but about finding joy, love, and purpose in the present moment.

“What can I do today,” she asks herself, “to be the best version of me?” And with that, she steps forward—lighter, freer, and ready to embrace the beauty of life.

Returning to Work: Rebuilding Confidence and Identity

After spending years in a bubble of safety, surrounded by love, blessings, and the singular focus of getting healthy, returning to the workforce as a substitute teacher was anything but easy. I had lost confidence in myself—both as a leader and a teacher, and even as a person. For so long, my “job description” was to survive and heal, and I poured every ounce of my energy into that role. But now, I no longer knew who I was or what I truly wanted to do.

I tried, but it felt like starting over from scratch. Chemobrain dulled my ability to think on my feet, and I became easily exhausted. The whispers of judgment didn’t help either—“I wouldn’t be back working if I were you,” or, “Why would you even try?” These comments weighed heavily, amplifying the self-doubt I was already battling. Each day felt like an uphill climb as I attempted to reclaim the confidence and clarity I had once taken for granted.

I wish I had known then about Mel Robbins’ “let them” theory. Instead, I was raw, open-hearted, and vulnerable, unused to receiving constructive feedback or handling decisions that felt mishandled. I found myself in situations that shook my already fragile confidence. Imagine being told not to come down to pick up my students because the sight of my hair—or the lack of it—might make parents question whether I was fit to teach their children. Their judgments, their stories, their insecurities—it wasn’t about me, but at the time, I carried it all like it was.

Mel Robbins’ “let them” theory is about releasing control over how others perceive you and what they think or do. Let them think what they will. Let them hold their opinions. It’s not yours to carry. If only I had understood that then, I might have moved through those moments with more grace, allowing their perceptions to remain theirs, without letting them define me.

Yet, even in those moments of uncertainty, I was trying to find myself again—to rebuild a life beyond the labels of patient or survivor. Slowly, I started to realise that my responsibility wasn’t to change others’ perceptions of me but to show up authentically, imperfectly, and to keep moving forward.

The process wasn’t easy or linear, but every effort was a step toward reclaiming my identity and learning to let go of what wasn’t mine to hold. Thanks to voices like Mel Robbins, I now understand that the most important work is internal, and the only permission I need to live fully is my own.